What Are You Missing By Resisting?

What Are You Missing By Resisting?

How do you tell the difference between Resistance and Being Out of Alignment?
Start by thinking of the activity, person, circumstance, event. 
Are you avoiding out of fear, irritation, or worry?
Then you’re resisting. 
Are you avoiding it out of intuition, a gut feeling, or  calm sense of knowing it is a clear no for you?
Then it is not in alignment for you. 
I always say to do what turns you on and lights you up, and I still believe that to be true. 
But I also believe we have to push ourselves with grace through the resistance. 
When you really take a look at it, are you resisting the things, activities, people and circumstances that can truly help you and serve you? I know I do. And that just doesn’t work for me any longer. 
I’m challenging myself to look at what I’m doing and reverse engineer it if I don’t like the way I feel about it or the resistance I have to it. 
I’m rating myself on a 1-10 on my own “Benefactor Factor” scale. 
1 being this is a bad idea or horrible for me. 
10 being this could only positively benefit me. 
When resistance shows up, I simply ask myself, “What is my Benefactor Factor?”
If it’s more than a 5, then I push myself to go and do the thing because I believe that “what we resist the most is best for our own soul.”
What would your life look like if you started saying yes to the things that you typically resist? 
– Networking events 
– Going on camera
– Private outreach
Think about all of the opportunity in what you are rejecting out of habit and out of pure resistance. 
There is so much power in your decision to push through. 
What will you see on the other side?
I hope you let me know. 
Go get it, girl!
The Importance of Protecting Your Light

The Importance of Protecting Your Light

Hey Soul Sister-

If you are a coach, guide, mentor or healer it’s so crucial that you manage your energy and monitor how much you are giving to others.

If you’re like me, you love to help other people, but if you’re not being filled back up you can quickly feel deflated and defeated. And to top it all off, the person that you were trying to help, well they most likely aren’t even taking action on the advice you gave them, (more to come on this later). 

I want to share with you a few tips to stay lit up while being of service:

    1. Be selfish. Yup, I said it. Please know, it is totally ok for you to put you, your needs, your energy FIRST and foremost. You’ve probably heard it before, put your oxygen mask on first before trying to help others around you, and I don’t just mean on an airplane! When you are the best version of you, you get to give that to the world, but not if you’re exhausted from people pleasing and problem-solving for everyone but yourself. I want you to take a few minutes and think about what are the ways you can be filled up in exchange for what you bring to others? It could be things like money, trading services, etc. Make sure you know what you are going to receive for what you give.
    2. Identify what and/or who makes you feel the most depleted. Chances are there might be a pattern to what is draining your energy. And as hard as it may be in the short run, it might be time to let go of this to benefit you and your light in the long run. Focus on how you feel, all the time. As soon as something starts to make you feel tired, annoyed or unhappy, start to eliminate it from your life. Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first, it may even be difficult, but nothing can change until you start making changes.
    3. Identify what and/or who ignites you. On the contrary to #2, I also want you to think about the things that make your soul smile, and the people who you feel supported and empowered around, because you are going to do more of that and them starting right now! Why would you surround yourself with people and things that don’t bring you joy? Make it your personal mission today to go on a joy journey and only experience what fills you up and lights up your joy meter. I promise you a day filled with magic, laughter and happiness.
    4. Create boundary statements. I know my mom is not on my email list, so I can write this safely LOL. When my mom calls and wants to complain about Howard, her life partner, I say the same boundary statement to her over and over, “Mom, you know how I feel about this.” And she drops the subject. I do not have time to enable anyone, (even my mom), to complain to me. If you have time to complain, you have time to change what you don’t like. And by you having these bold boundary statements, you will quickly be able to keep people from draining and complaining to you. Big boundaries does not make you a big bitch!
    5. Trust your intuition more than anyone else’s opinion. (PS, How to find, feel & follow your intuition is the 1st Intuitive Training Session in IGNITE!)  You have got to be able to know what your soul is trying to tell you. You have got to be able to know what direction it is leading you, because it always knows the way. It is ok to say yes, it is ok to say no, as long as whatever answer you are giving is coming from the place that makes you feel confident and solid in your decision. When your answers come from that place, you will never get it wrong.

I would love to hear which of these matches what you needed to hear today! 

And just remember, I am always here to help you on your joy journey! 

Decisions, Not Destiny…

Decisions, Not Destiny…

I don’t get triggers very often. But when I do, I know to lean into them and to feel into them because there is a message from the Universe trying to capture my attention.

Lately, the word destiny has been throwing some triggers my direction.

Here’s the thing. I don’t believe in destiny.

I don’t believe that something was pre-determined for me. I believe I came here to be a creator and my greatest gift is the power of making decisions.

You are writing your future with what you are feeling right now. I believe that every time you decide on something with absolute energetic certainty, the Universe pivots FOR you because you just made a pivotal decision.

There is no worse place to be, then in limbo.

And whether you decide yes or no, there is no wrong choice. That moment you choose, new paths, doors, opportunities and experiences start to arrange themselves for you. Everything can start to happen when you decide and declare what you desire and what you don’t.

When you leave “things” undecided, it is actually a state of dormancy. And most often what is lingering in limbo is keeping you overthinking and stuck in the same place, and on repeat.

Here are a few ways to make decisions swiftly and intentionally:

  1. Energetically declare that it is a done deal. Here’s an example. I found a house that I really want, like can’t stop thinking about it! Not only is it not for sale, but it’s out of my price range currently, by about a million dollars. But I want it. Bad. So I energetically with my heart and soul decided I am going to own it. I felt it, and visualized a signal coming from my heart and expanding out into the Universe, declaring that as my home. I claimed it and decided it is mine. And now, I am acting like it is. I am making more decisions based on that desire. Asking myself questions like “ is this aligned with who I need to be to own that home?” When do I get to move in? I don’t really care. All I know is I am take aligned action each day to bring me one step closer to getting those keys.


  2. Some decisions are bigger than others, especially if there are other people involved. But most likely, you already know the answer. You already know the outcome that you want. You are just scared of hurting others so you are delaying, and “hem and hawing”. It’s hurting everyone more by not following what your intuition is telling you. It’s not just keeping things stuck for you, but keep things stuck for the others involved too.

It’s amazing how quickly evidence about your decision will start to show up. The Universe responds swiftly with signs, don’t chalk them up to coincidence.

You are too powerful of a creator to turn the results you created in your life over to the hands of destiny. You did it. And whether you like it or whether you don’t, you can always change it by going back to the drawing board and making a new choice. The path is yours to pave however you choose.

Don’t turn your path into a dead end. Decide that it is wide open just waiting for you to lay your next brick.


I love working with women entrepreneurs who are ready to make decisions that make them happy and make them money. To find out how I can support you more with Mindset & Soulset, check out The Soulfire Empire, my soul-powered mastermind!

A Letter to the Universe

If you have been hanging with me for awhile, you’ve probably encountered a FB Live drop in from my little guy Ryker. He’s pretty awesome, but today he taught me something that I had to share with you.

At 4, Christmas is the only thing on his mind right now. And so today we started to write a letter to Santa. Ryker cut it short and sweet:

Anything with Tom Brady and a remote control boat.

Easy peasy for this mom!

I was surprised at how simple it was. He was direct, knew what he wanted, claimed it and then went back to playing with the dog. Maybe manifesting is that easy?

And then tis letter to Santa really got me thinking,

I want to write a letter to Santa too!

I want to be in that magic state that my Ryker-oni is in. “Here’s my list, I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but Santa bring it on!”

And then I realized, I can write that letter, straight to the Universe.

And so I did.

I poured my heart and soul into my Christmas list to the Universe and was shocked when I read back what I had written.

It was beautiful, awakening and powerful all in one.

What I was more surprised about than anything, was that there was not 1 material item on there. Not 1. (And I LOVE presents! )

But here’s what was on my grown up list:

I wrote about what I want to experience with my husband and children during the holiday and how I want to feel when my mother comes to stay with me for 2 weeks.

I shared how much I love my clients and want them to have their best Christmas ever and that I truly want to be the best coach and leader possible for them.

I asked for time with my friends whom I adore and to be fully present for all of my family at gatherings.

I want to feel peace, love and gratitude.

I want clarity.

I want connection.

I want light.

Love, A-
I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the letter.

(If you have an idea, let me know.)

But here’s what I do know.

When I wrote that, I released it and unattached from how this will become my experience.

And isn’t that part of the magic of Santa and the Universe?

We don’t have to know how.

We just have to believe to receive.

And when we enjoy the day to day along the way, that’s when we can receive what our heart desires. Because at the soul of it, what we really want is what only we can give ourselves- compassion, grace and space.

The joy is in the journey.

The power is in your spirit.

The answer is in your emotion.

That’s what makes it magic and that’s what makes it manifest.

I truly hope you can take a few minutes and write your heart out to the Universe and that your experience is as special as this was to me.

If you feel like sharing, I’m here listening.
To Magic and Moments…

Why Every Business Needs a Bucket List (as Featured in The Huffington Post)


We’re all familiar with the term bucket list. It is basically a list of the places you want to go and the things you want to do, but don’t actually have a plan on how it’s going to happen, because it’s just before you “kick the bucket”… Most of the people you talk to about a bucket list tend to think it’s something that you get around to when you retire; it instantly makes you think of a checklist for your life, the experiences that you are most desiring to have in your lifetime! Some of the most common items on a person’s bucket list are:

Visiting Hawaii

Swimming with Dolphins

See the Eiffel Tower


You get the picture. Some might even get really gung ho and create a vision board with their list, or work it in as a goal during their New Year’s Resolution. But here’s the problem, vision boards collect dust, get over looked, and become a fixture on the wall. And let’s face it, the planners we buy at the beginning of the year usually make it to the back burner by the time Cupid is showing up for Valentine’s Day. But the bucket list, it is always lingering in our hearts and minds; it’s a lifetime passport, and our soul wants those stamps! So, doesn’t it make sense that a spirited entrepreneur should have a “Business Bucket List”? Goals are great, but they serve a purpose different from the “BBL”. Goals are based on strategy; grounded and rooted to the core of your business activities. The “BBL”, comes from a different place. It comes from the dream, the vision, the ah ha moments in the shower. It comes from the depths of your purpose and aligns you for success. The BBL is for the purpose driven entrepreneur interested in living a legacy, not just leaving a legacy. In fact, they’re interested in limitless legacies. Following curiosity is what leads us to our calling, and once you are there, clarity around your dreams and desires is sure to follow. Your BBL is exactly that, a list of your core business dreams and desires! The big version. The legacy version. Here are some of the top legacy desires that entrepreneurs have:

 Top 10 BBL items-

 1. Bali or other luxurious retreat with like minded entrepreneurs

 2. Ted Talk- or to speak on a stage and inspire hundreds, thousands, or hundreds of thousands

 3. Become an author, have a book published

 4. Hit 6 Figures/7 Figures or other significant income milestones

 5. Be the next Oprah  (on my BBL)

 6. See your own product/idea invented and selling like hotcakes

 7. Create a movement

 8. Volunteer, more philanthropy opportunities

 9. Mentor, lead, and teach others to create their dream life/business

10. Never work for someone else, or another business again

I encourage you to make some time and create your own BBL! Stay connected to it. Visit it frequently! Get into aligned action to make those desires your reality. Set dates, don’t wait until someday. Don’t wait until you kick the bucket. 

 I would love to hear from you! Are your legacy desires different from what is on this list? Share them with me! I want to see your BBL items in the comments below! 

Article published in The Huffington Post July 7, 2016.