Why Don’t People…with Shari Teigman

Amber Annette: 0:02

Welcome to the Business Psychic Podcast, the show that helps you ignite your soul’s purpose, turn up your creativity and activate sales and marketing magic. I’m your host, amber Annette, and I’m thrilled to be here with you today to explore the depth of what it means to be a woman in business. I believe that business is more than just making money. It’s about making a difference and making your mark. So sit back, get present and let’s dive in and uncover the secrets to building a business with soul, purpose and magic. Welcome back to another episode of the Business Psychic. I’m Amber Annette, your host, and you are in for a juicy episode. Let me welcome to you the fabulous Sherri Tiegman. Sherri is a high-performance coach and creative business strategist who teaches the Maverick method to become the optimal you for your optimal life and business. She works with high-level CEOs, entrepreneurs and startups to unleash their inner Maverick and to remove the bottlenecks that keep them stuck and small to catapult into the next level of well-being and success in all areas. Sherri’s been in business for almost nine years with private clients and now runs the coaching department for one of the biggest sales and marketing training companies in the UK. Sherri has been one of my best business besties from pretty much day one. I am so excited to share a conversation with her that is going to be for you raw, real, transformative and a really deep look inside what it is like to be an entrepreneur in this online coaching and development space for almost 10 years. Sherri, I love you.

Shari Teigman: 1:54

I just love you. Thank you for having me. I can’t believe we’re doing this. This is so exciting. These have been thousands of conversations that haven’t been recorded. Now we’re actually recording one of our rants. This is amazing.

Amber Annette: 2:05

Yeah, we definitely need to remember that we are hosting a podcast and that we are live and people are going to hear us.

Shari Teigman: 2:15

Because we can I will behave as best as I know how, which is not very, but I’ll try.

Amber Annette: 2:19

We can get down some rabbit holes. For one time we were talking, we were like if anybody heard us right now, they would come in with straight jackets and that would be that was a present We’d be happily go. We’re done. We’re done. We can never tell people we talk like this. I’m excited to have those conversations Right before we hit record. We started we have no First of all, today is a very different podcast for me, because typically I give myself a framework of some questions I want to ask my guests that I have on. I don’t have that with you. I’m trusting that our 10 years together is going to lead this conversation and keep our listeners keep them listening, because we just started going down a path and I was like we need to hit record After both of what we were talking about man, look at us, look at us, look at how far we’ve come. 10 years. We’ve made it. We’ve been doing this, what we love for 10 years coaching, leading, guiding, speaking, inspiring, motivating. Then we started talking about some of those clients that we get that we can’t activate for some reason. We started talking about I’m probably going to call this episode this why don’t people Blink, insert whatever. Why don’t people-. I’ve got that, yeah. Why don’t people dot dot dot? So let’s dive in. I want to talk about number one. Why don’t people take action? Why don’t people take inspired action? I think you can probably appreciate this. All of my clients and I know the kind of people that you work with too. They have great ideas, they have amazing gifts and abilities and they are here to be game changers, and yet, holy shit, why don’t they take action towards that vision?

Shari Teigman: 4:25

Well, I think you just nailed it even in the question. It’s that Walter Middy thing If we stay in Dreamland, then we get to be fully expressed and reached our potential. But if we ship it into the world and it doesn’t work, then it’s only our fault. But if we don’t do the thing that we say we’re going to do, then we get to stay in the thinking about the thing and the being excited about the idea and then looking out at the world in the way that we problems solve. I mean, we were talking, we were meant to start recording this 40 minutes ago, but first we had a catch up. So during our catch up we were saying how you know whether we’re watching like Amber saying she’s watching commercials on TV, or I’ll read a book, and all we do is kind of like correct what we would do differently, or see the holes where other people don’t see. And it’s a very addictive place to stay in, that place of pre-doing, because that’s where people feel the most clear, the most ready, the most bold and confident, because they didn’t put it out in the world yet. So nobody was disappointed, they aren’t. No one’s not buying, they don’t have all the issues of what happens when we ship something. So I think it’s become a real addiction in the personal development and entrepreneur space to be the smartest one in the room to talk about it but not be the bold one who’s actually taking the action.

Amber Annette: 5:41

I feel like you’re kind of burning a hole in my soul here, because I am not kidding you. I have three books that are sitting on my Google Drive three and all of them have made it till about the last chapter or two and they are some of the best content I’ve ever created that I’ve never shared with a damn person. And the thought of like actually publishing it and putting it out and then not having the dream of it, I feel like we have to become, to stay in that unknown space of the launch and the putting ourselves out there and listen.

Shari Teigman: 6:28

You’re being so open and vulnerable by sharing that like. If this scares, you imagine what it does to regular people because you’re not a regular person. So we just hit the nail on the head here. This is the shortest podcast ever. We just finished. But it is that like. I know my aim, I know my goal, I know my potential, I know who I can be. And when the world or our audience or strangers reflect back something different, how do we reconcile who we want to be with who we currently are? How do we continue growing? In the moments when it is scary, when no one is watching, when no one’s clapping, we’re like cue the music. I’m a celebrity. Now I nailed it. I just solved everyone’s problems and the books don’t get published or gets published and six people like it in. One of them is your mom. You know what I mean. Like it’s a real. It’s terrifying to see ourselves in potential and then not have that guarantee that that’s how it’s going to go. So we make excuses, we get scared. Most of us then come up with new ideas because maybe the idea wasn’t good enough. And then it’s this round robin of almost launching over and, over and over again.

Amber Annette: 7:34

I literally just told Erin, my assistant, today. I was like I have an idea for a new book and she was like, oh okay, maybe instead of a new book, maybe I should just finish one of those other ones. But I mean, I think it brings up the topic of risk right. What we’re really talking about are taking these bigger risks, these risks of putting our ideas, our creative expression, our purpose out into the world. And yet I have no problem doing that in a lot of other areas. I mean, I published, I put out a podcast, I’ve I mean I have had my own business for 10 years, and I mean so like and I can associate that with so many of my clients as well like they’re taking risks, they are doing different things, they’re making investments, they’re trying, and yet it makes me wonder are there these bigger resistances to some of these risks? You know are there? You know, is this for I’ll use myself as an example here is this book like the biggest?

Shari Teigman: 8:39

risk I could take. So I think what comes down to for me, for what I see in myself and with clients, is it’s interesting you bring the risk thing up because a lot of entrepreneurs have like this busy fool syndrome where as long as I’m doing something I’m playing in Canva, I’m creating a small course I did made another lead magnet. That’s like the smaller playground. It feels comfortable, like, look, I am putting stuff out in the world, I am doing my thing, I’m sharing my message a little bit. But the identity piece linked to the bigger things let’s say a book or like the real clients we want to work with the real prices, we want to charge the real things we want to say out there. That’s when the alarm gets set off. So until then we’ve got a nice little rope to play in and I am very busy in my business and I’m good at what I do and the few clients who know what you do love you. For people who are, you know, getting started or whatever. And then, like, the alarm goes off and then all of a sudden we shrink back because our identity is at risk, not just our business. That risk thing is like who will I have to continue being if I actually put this out in the world and I see this a lot with clients where we say we’re afraid of failure, we’re far more afraid of success because if, let’s say, I hit that big number or I get that best seller or I run a successful launch, shit, I’ve got to do that again now. I can’t now slide back to where I was and just play in my small playground anymore, like the gate gets locked after that. Now I’m in a new playground as my baseline and I don’t know if I can do that.

Amber Annette: 10:11

What if, though? What if the fear is fear of failure?

Shari Teigman: 10:17

Well, it’s both. We’re caught in like this valley, like we don’t want to be embarrassed on the failure and if it’s successful, I don’t have another brilliant idea yet. I have a lot of little small ideas. So it’s this dance between them both which is why we stay busy.

Amber Annette: 10:32

I remember this time and I don’t know if you have the same view I, if you go with Gilbert for that creation of that book, because it brought ideas into such a beautiful light. For me, it was the first time that I ever found somebody else be able to explain ideas. I interact with them all the time and what she talked about was one idea leading to the next, and I don’t know if you’ve ever had this happen, but I have had some of these ideas where I feel like it’s an unlocking, an unveiling Most of my ideas are like that.

Shari Teigman: 11:09

So the way I describe this is you know, let’s say you go away for a weekend to like a beautiful cabin somewhere and it’s a little uninhabited and looked very different online than when you booked it. Let’s just say you walk in and you turn on the faucet and like brown, shitty water comes out first and you’ve got to let the water run until you get the fresh spring water. This is the way our brains and creativity work. If we don’t use it, it’s a muscle. So one idea unlocks the other, because self trust comes along with the cycle of creativity. So I have an idea, I act on it, I use it, I play with it. It’s like Play-Doh. I’m another one because I taught myself I’m allowed when we don’t listen, or we decide we’re in control of them, or I’ve got 20 minutes to be creative. Come on, blink and cursor Creativity. We work for creativity, not the other way around. So I think that unlocking is such a beautiful way to describe it because it is to access the deeper parts. But we’ve got to do the smaller bits first to prove to ourselves, our brain and to our creativity they’re like she’s doing it this time. Let’s bring out the big guns.

Amber Annette: 12:12

Yeah, I remember one time years ago, sherry, you came into one of my groups and I don’t know if you remember this, but you quoted somebody and I still to this day don’t remember like who you quoted. But we were talking about creativity and we were talking about writing and you said write hi edit sober, yeah, oh, there’s a famous author that wrote it and I don’t remember.

Shari Teigman: 12:36

I’m going to find it now. It’s so true, we’ve got to run that water. You’ve got to just let the muddy water come first, shitty first drafts, if you’ve ever if Ayan Lamott bird by bird, one of so so so

Amber Annette: 12:51

here’s really interesting, why that that book would come forward. Right, I have man, I’m just like totally being super vulnerable, like I will, just like. I have a really hard time completing things and here’s why. Here’s the I’ve done a lot of like, I do a lot of personal reflection. So, for example, when this sounds so dumb, but toy story right, Toy story one came out with my daughter Aubrey was was baby when she was just born, okay, and then I had three other kids since her who have all gone through the toy story movies. Right, they’ve all watched them. It’s always been a thing. All the things my boys always dressed up as like Buzz Lightyear for Halloween, all the things it’s like been a really big. I fucking refuse to watch the final toy story for by the way, don’t, because it’s heartbreaking, so don’t. I can’t do it.

Shari Teigman: 13:44

It’s horrible.

Amber Annette: 13:45

I can’t do it.

Shari Teigman: 13:46

It’s wonderful, but it’s heartbreaking.

Amber Annette: 13:48

I can’t ever finish things like this. I and I know, and human beings I know, are this way as well. It’s hard for us to say goodbye, you know, and that it’s hard for us to like. I rarely will read the final chapter of a book, obviously, I barely. I can’t even like write even our own yeah. I have such a hard time of things being completed because it makes me feel so sad that it’s over.

Shari Teigman: 14:16

I’m the same, by the way. I hate goodbyes and the finality of it, and I think especially for intuitives, because we know the moment will never be the same. Regular people just say goodbye and they don’t realize what I’ve never going to be the same. Exactly. The moment will never be the same. The feelings, the emotion, the connection, the memories will change instantly as soon as that movie’s over Door closes, holiday ends, whatever it is. I struggle a lot with them. People, since I’m little people are why are you crying last day of school? Because it will never be this moment again.

Amber Annette: 14:49

Yeah, yeah, and that makes me think of that future moment of myself and of so many other people who are taking those actions to get there because they know change is inevitable.

Shari Teigman: 15:02

Yeah, and they don’t know how to. They know how to prepare the ideas now, but what happens later? And that’s out of their control. So who the hell would walk into something that’s out of their control? On purpose, nobody.

Amber Annette: 15:14

We don’t know how do you activate? How do you activate that motivation then to go after it, to become that so?

Shari Teigman: 15:21

for me exactly that. It’s so when I work with clients on this, the big vision is there. I don’t believe in balance. So I think there’s the big vision on one side and them as a person on the other side, and there’s a scaffold effect of the big vision is bigger than me right now. So my only job is to elevate myself, to be in communication level with that big vision. So it’s I have a big vision. I’m doing that holy crap moment. It’s going to be big. And then I immediately, naturally we shrink smaller because it feels too big. So we go into the realness of right now, which is where our doubts and fears and, you know, inner critic and all that come. So my job is always number one identify the big vision. And number two, we immediately go to who do I need to be in order to be able to be ready for that? So that’s when we look at what’s standing in between me and my big vision. I do this daily with clients and then all the comes up because it’s everything in them, starts raising his hand of saying, well, I can’t do that, can’t do it. Well, I tried that once, can’t do that. My third grade teacher told me I couldn’t do that, and it all just bubbles out because it’s finally at a precipice of like if I don’t change, I don’t get that big thing. Instead of making more excuses, being more busy and exhausting ourselves, in that moment the only question is great, I know where I want to go. I’m going to hike a mountain. What do I need for it? Well, I can’t go in my flip flops, in my sundress, can I? I’m immediately going to go on Amazon and start shopping for hiker me, and this is never going to happen. This is so theoretical by were to know about our lives of like I’m going to a cold location, we immediately go, take our cold stuff out. I’m going to a warm location, we know how to prepare ourselves, to be ready for things. We just don’t know how to prepare ourselves for something, and this is where the work is.

Amber Annette: 17:15

And I think this is where the attention needs to be, and it’s not. I can’t tell you how many times, when I get into a place of channel for my clients, the first and foremost thing that comes forward is how often are you pulling yourself present? Because if you pull yourself out, I really believe that it is when you are in your most present form that you are going to get your next set of instructions and directions to help you become who you want to be. And nobody, nobody, except for what’s his name Eckhart, eckhart Tolle. No one except him actually does this. I swear Like we get so wrapped up into the how that we don’t get connected to who.

Shari Teigman: 18:10

And it’s so scary to be sat in that presence piece for the thinkers and the dreamers and the doers that we think staying busy is moving us forward, but it’s actually moving us backwards because we scare on a little submission, exactly.

Amber Annette: 18:27

Yeah, I think here’s the other thing that I find fascinating about ideas and action and motivation. Is that what you’re talking about. Most of us are on this loop, right when we’ve had these past thoughts, we’ve had these past ideas and we it’s like a hamster on a freaking wheel, right Like we start doing, going through the motions, the only motions we know how to do, whether it’s, let’s say, I’ll just use business, send emails, you do outreach, you write a sales page all the hamster wheel shit, right.

Shari Teigman: 18:57

Yeah.

Amber Annette: 18:59

But that is for past version of you, past ideas, where, if you pull yourself present, that’s where you have access to in the moment, creativity, ideas that have never come to this planet before. Because you’ve never, because you’re not operating off of that loop, like it just blows my mind what can happen when you, when you get present, what, how? The best analogy also, I think I’ve ever given is when you are being present, you are giving the universe this like green light energy. Just like if you’re playing red light, green light. You remember the game right, you run as fast as you can to the person. That’s like you know green light. Run as fast as you can. As soon as they say red light, you have to stop and freeze, right, like we all played that game in elementary school. That is what being present is like. You’re giving green light energy. The universe can run to you with everything you freaking desire, and yet we operate in the non present about 99.9% of our day and our time looking in the wrong direction, like you said, bringing forward something that was already done.

Shari Teigman: 20:12

But we are busy in it. A friend of mine, who’s also an intuitive, I love when she says that. She said universe doesn’t expect you to do 100%, the universe expects you to do your 100%. Your 100% is that presence. Your 100% is the brave, bold decision making and the brave action taking, and then the rest gets handled because you did your part. But when we stay busy, we’re actually moving so far away from what we promised ourselves. It’s almost like we have the big dream and then we claw back because maybe it’s a little too big, maybe not this year, maybe next year, and then the universe doesn’t understand what we’re asking for. So it stops because they’re not clear yet, they haven’t made their order yet and they’re too busy for it. Anyway, exactly, exactly. There’s no time in between sending emails.

Amber Annette: 21:00

Sometimes it seems so simple. You know what I mean. Sometimes I have moments like this where I’m like, okay, just meditate all day and it’s all going to work out, and it will. And yet do we do that? Absolutely freaking not. Instead, I will go and I will buy a new course on how to do TikTok ads, or I will do something I’ll read a book on funnels, or you know, another book, what we all need. Oh gosh, yeah. So what about urgency? You know? I mean, I think that I just, I think I love coaching so much because a I learn so much. Every single client I have I learn from, I learn from myself every session, and I don’t know how many seven, eight, 9000 sessions in 10 years. I have no idea I stopped keeping. I literally stopped keeping track after like 6,000. I’m not kidding you, and there was something about that like 10,000 hours thing for me. Like once I hit that like I stopped. I was like this is dumb, why am I still tracking this? But I really think that activating that positive urgency in people or helping them access it, even, maybe not even just activating, I think some people are activators and other people help people access, and I feel like some people just have that hunger and some people have that urgency and some people have that curiosity and some people don’t, or they just haven’t ever accessed it.

Shari Teigman: 22:42

What do you think I think? Well, curiosity for me is a big one, because I think that’s a big. To me, this is like a combination lock, like it’s never all on or off, but it’s how we read our own clues and our own energy, because we know that fear and excitement release the same chemicals in our body. So someone like me or you, who loves growth, is like game on. I have a new idea, but then you are less scared than I am. I can then scare myself into submission and then that same energy that felt like excitement is now panic and then I pull back. So it’s that own, we’ve got the break on in the car for different reasons. Think possibility, we need to make space for. Then, when we make space for it, we need to know what to do with it instead of like, oh, I was a little bit too big, I meant to dream big, but I didn’t need to go that big. So I don’t think people don’t have it. I think it’s activated in everyone and some people think differently about it than other people. So, for someone who is afraid of growth, their big dreams will scare them and then they make a lot of excuses because, like, not me, not now. I’m not that person. My well, frustration to me the most is I don’t know how to implore to the people that I am blessed to work with that you wouldn’t have had the idea if you weren’t supposed to birth it Like. This isn’t accidental, it’s trust me success is not contagious as much as most people would like it to be Like. That is in your brain and in your awareness and in your heart for a reason. So then we need to create a framework around how they activate themselves, and we know it’s not the same for everyone. So for some people, it’s first move through the fear, or acknowledge it, and get calm and get present. For other people, urgency is like you and I we run out of a shower and write an entire sales page dripping wet in the towel because we know grab it or it’s gone.

Amber Annette: 24:31

Yeah, I think the conversation around success being contagious is. I mean, I definitely like to be around other people that are successful. It’s great to know.

Shari Teigman: 24:43

Yeah, you can sit and wait and pick up, like the bread crumbs from their peanut butter and jelly sandwich, eat it and suddenly magically turn into someone you are not. Couldn’t agree more. And I do love a crust of a bread. Don’t think that I wouldn’t eat your crust.

Amber Annette: 24:58

I also think that. So I have two parts to this conversation. The first part is I feel like for some people, the strive and the path and the way to success can become an addiction. Oh, a thousand percent. And I didn’t realize it until one of my best girlfriends said again here I’ll be man. I’m just like really being open up on this podcast today. So I have five brothers, two of which have passed away, and all five of them have and did have extreme addiction to drugs, alcohol, women, sex, I mean like extra meth, like I mean I have a pretty jacked up like family, like I’m not gonna like all five of them. And then there’s me, right, and I said to my girlfriend no, don’t get me wrong, I love a good vodka, club soda from here and there, but I so don’t get me wrong, right, like. But I said to my girlfriend not too long ago, I said I feel so grateful that that addiction passed me. How did it pass me, Tina? Like, how did that happen? I feel so grateful. And she looked at me stone cold and said are you kidding me?

Shari Teigman: 26:29

Exactly she said are you kidding me? These people have never seen your notebook collection. If they think you don’t have an addiction.

Amber Annette: 26:36

Well, yeah, she was like you’re the most addicted person to success I’ve ever met in my life. Like you are. Your addiction is success and I am so grateful for her saying that to me and at the same time, it has haunted me ever since she said it to me. I bet I think about it once a day, like what am I willing to like give up right? Like I think about, like what am I, you know, like drug addicts? Like they are literally willing to like give up everything to reach that level that they, you know, that high. And I feel like and sometimes I’m doing the same thing, I see people doing the same thing, and yet it’s for success. How is it any?

Shari Teigman: 27:16

different and this is, but it’s cause. It’s just transmuted Like human beings are, we are, and this is what I mean about reading our signs of like what do we need, what are we crave? How do we control it? There’s not one entrepreneur who has stepped off the employment road, who is not out of their mind. Semi, adhd, no attention span, big dreamer. Like we love this stuff. But like if we walked into a regular office I’d be medicated and it’s probably strapped to a chair for all the big ideas. But here it’s celebrated because we know how to use it, we know who to tell it to. Like if I told people in my old, regular life of how I grew up, what I do, where I go, what I do, they look at me like I have 10 heads. So I think it’s a self fulfilling prophecy of what we decide, if it’s a strength or a weakness. Yeah.

Amber Annette: 28:05

I don’t know yet Exactly.

Shari Teigman: 28:08

I mean, I feel like entrepreneurs burn out every 10 seconds, I feel like, is the statistic. So it’s not necessarily the healthiest way to go, but how we use our drive, our motivation, even our fear, is how we create our own cadence of what we create in the world. It’s a lot of why we’re bored a lot of the time because it is waiting for the next.

Amber Annette: 28:29

I just sometimes wish that I could bottle it. I mean, we started this episode with why don’t people? And when I look at myself, I’m like, why do I? Why do I keep going? What does like, how do I give that and transfer that to listeners and clients and my kids and my like, how?

Shari Teigman: 28:48

I can’t remember Amber, because I know you for so long, Like and your audience may not know this, so I mean you’ve been like this since you’re 17 years old.

Amber Annette: 28:57

Yes, maybe you’ve done this in everything that you do.

Shari Teigman: 29:01

And you were a young single mom. Like if you line up other girls who have had kids when you had your kids your first two kids. We don’t need to lay out what their lives look like, we know. So you decide there was something in you that decided at a young age with one baby, then two babies, like this is what my life is going to look like. In terms of whether it was government assistance, there’s nothing wrong with it. You went and started a career when you could hardly have time to go to the bathroom by yourself. So, like, you took this and spun it a long time ago. Now you’re living in the ripple effect of that decision. You made a very long time. Thank you, You’re welcome. So like. I want to bottle that. You know what I mean. Look, trust me, I take a dose of amber every day. If I could, I’m pretty damn accomplished myself. But like I’ve spent real time with you, not just calls, like you’ve come to my house, you’ve slept here, we’ve been in Florida together, like we’ve spent real friend time, not just business time. And you are remarkable in how you do anything, how you see the world, the kind of conversations you allow yourself to have, who you like to be around, what you like to think about. So it really comes down to most people think this is just like a tetanus shot. You get it once. It’s an active choice in every moment, in every argument, in every struggle to choose which way it’s going to go. And that is harder to learn because it takes a lot of personal responsibility that people don’t want to take.

Amber Annette: 30:30

I don’t know what to say. I’ve never left speechless, you know. So one of the things that was coming up for me when you were talking what you know, when we’re talking about success and going after it, one of the things that I want to talk about is that room of women that we’re talking about right. When you’re around other highly successful women, when you’re driven, you’re ambitious, you have big ideas, big goals, and then you get there or you almost get there, or you’re on your way there and you already start to think what’s next.

Shari Teigman: 31:11

You know, that’s also the addiction. The fulfillment loop is the next thing to talk about.

Amber Annette: 31:16

I feel like it’s something that we just there’s just not enough people that are like it’s not that you’re not unfulfilled, it’s not that you are fulfilled, it’s just there’s. Sometimes it’s like a curse and a blessing to have drive you, because it’s endless.

Shari Teigman: 31:36

So it’s not like, oh, I did that, let me sit down and throw myself a party. I mean, how many times I’ve been with you. You’ve launched, you’ve done unbelievably, I’ve done it, you’ve been with me in it and it’s like, man, I was okay, I don’t feel anything Next. It’s like that what the amount of work and love and care that went into it. We don’t even get the feedback loop of the good feedback loop either.

Amber Annette: 31:57

I reference it to like and this is so stupid because never, ever will I climb a mountain, but I reference you and I are not getting our hiking shoes that we keep talking about. I reference mountain climbing with it. Right, like I get to the top of these mountains that I see, I see them and I’m like I’m going to climb it, I’m going to conquer it. And then I do. I get to the top of this mountain and I’m like where’s my next mountain? I just want to get to the top. And I know so many other women are feeling like this too. Like when is it just going to be enough to be on my mountain and like sit, sit down and appreciate and just be good right there? I just haven’t found that yet.

Shari Teigman: 32:38

And listen when we don’t find it in our business, then our friends are not fulfilling. How many entrepreneur women have you spoken to like I have over the past 10 years? I work with both men and women. Their friends are boring. They no longer want to go out and hang out with their friends. Their family drives them crazy. Their partners no longer make sense. Then, like we have to slow down for everyone. And it’s this addiction to the speed where we don’t even know how to enjoy it. I have a lot of clients with very young children and I feel lucky that I did this when my kids were a little bit older, because all they want to do is work or play or create and their kids are waiting to play with them. And I’m like you’re missing these golden years with your children. They’re like yeah, I just had a great idea. Yeah, and it’s not an entrepreneurial person, it was not snuck their phone into the bathroom to quickly write something in notes.

Amber Annette: 33:25

when they had an idea, so that nobody saw her. I used to when Riker was little, you know, we’d put on a movie or whatever and I would sit with my notebook on the floor. I would be with him. You know he’s coloring, I’m coloring and writing down ideas that I would have. I mean, I’m grateful for those, that I was able to do both, but I also yeah, I mean there are a lot of people who are missing the reason why they’re probably trying to have their own business to begin with, absolutely. So one other thing that I want to talk about before I go into the and so now here’s what I’m really excited about is you haven’t listened to the podcast yet, so you don’t know what happens after we’re done with this interview part, which is super fun. So that’s like you’re about, yeah, so just sit tight for that girl.

Shari Teigman: 34:19

Take me there, baby. Where are we going?

Amber Annette: 34:22

But I want to have one. I want to have one more conversation and I want to know how do you get your clients to dream bigger. How do you or maybe your kids or people around you how do you get them to see a bigger vision than they’ve ever seen before?

Shari Teigman: 34:46

So for me the answer is twofold. Number one I use humor a lot because, as creatives and I struggle with this I’m the most stubborn creative person I know. So I know how to work myself, which means I know how to help clients. But when we get too caught in the how, as you said earlier then the dream is automatically smaller because we don’t know a bigger way to do things. But I am a big believer that it doesn’t have to hurt as much to get unstuck as it did to get stuck, and the humor is what loosens the glue for me. So when a client is coming and I can feel them all very tightly wound in what it needs to look like, and when it’s going to happen and I’m like, oh, we got to re-root here a bit, I move them a lot. Like I’ll play with language. I get very creative, I make a joke, I make a ridiculous analogy Like I did a whole analogy with my very high-powered male clients the other day of like a madam versus a cheap hooker and all of a sudden he’s cracking up and I got a lot more out of him in dream Like, okay, give me your madam idea, cool, give me your cheap hooker idea. And it’s just taking people out of the lens that they’re looking at and moving them to look at something from a different way. Since he doesn’t right now currently have a plan to be a madam nor hooker, that’s a safe place for him to play because it’s just pretend land for right. Then. So if we can say, okay, I know you don’t know how to do this, but if you did, let’s go play over here, and just what would the ideas be Once they’re out? Then someone has that inner recognition of oh my God, that just came out of me. I actually do know more and I’m not the coach who thinks she knows everything. I think my clients know much more than I do. My role is to help them open the windows to find what they have forgotten about themselves or maybe never identified yet. So it’s through humor and the curiosity thing I’m a big, you know those books when we were little. Choose your own adventure. So I like to create different avenues for people to be like don’t do it my way, because you’ll have this a lot as well. People will be like okay, I want my Maverick, I want this sherry, I want you can’t be a mini me. I can hardly be me half the days Like that’s what we’re learning here. But it’s choose your own adventure. What would be three different outcomes that could come from this? So if we have more options, just like with a toddler, there’s not a yes or a no, it’s red or green. I want blue. Great, at least you chose one. So I’m a big believer in the curiosity adventure side, as well as making it fun and playful, because no one doesn’t need more play in their life, and that’s the way we had our great ideas when we were little. Why would we try to do anything else now?

Amber Annette: 37:14

Because the place doesn’t work, because when we’re playful, we’re present. Exactly, this was like so good and like you said earlier, present with our now self.

Shari Teigman: 37:27

That little child gets to come and play. It’s not just a box anymore, it’s a spaceship. Well, I’m 49 and I don’t have any spaceships around me, so I need a lot of play. And because my brain is so creative, I can also make disasters like nobody else, because I’m using that same creativity to create anxiety and excuses in a business. I know that route. So, like all of that anxiety and excuse stuff and overwhelm is their creativity. I call it creative constipation. It’s just stuffed in there. They haven’t let it out in the way that works, so we’ve got a lot of sitting in that box, exactly. So if we let it out, then the real stuff comes out, what they really want to do, what they really want to say.

Amber Annette: 38:06

I’ve been on this huge game First. I’m obsessed with Game of Thrones, if you know anything about me. I just watched it for my third time and as you’re talking about being inside those boxes and she always calls herself the breaker of chains, I’m going to start calling myself the breaker of boxes. I love that. I love that. Speaking of your breaker of boxes, what if we introduced ourselves the way Daenerys Targaryen got introduced? Breaker of change, mother of dragons, queen of the rut, if we started doing that Same, I’m up for it. Yeah, let’s start. Let’s come up with, like, new intros for ourselves. I like it, because I think we need to bring that back. Breaker of boxes.

Shari Teigman: 38:47

It has been a long 10 years Amber. We’re ready for change, All right.

Amber Annette: 38:52

So now, in true of the business psychic fashion, here’s what’s going to go down. Oh boy, I’m going to tap in and I’m going to give you a business reading. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even know I was getting this. Yeah, so I’m going to tap in, I’m going to give you a business reading and then I’m going to ask you an important question.

Shari Teigman: 39:15

Before we do this, I just want the listeners to know that nothing Amber does scares me, because she was sitting in my living room and said your grandmother just walked in the room. So, like we, I’ve been down every room. My grandmother’s dead, by the way, I love her very much, for my grandmother and grandfather just strolled in to say hi to Amber in spirit while she was in my living room. So there’s nothing in the swimming can say to me that would scare me let’s go. Who’s in the room, baby?

Amber Annette: 39:40

You’ll see. You’ll see, all right, so let me tap in here. Oh, you are about to have your mind, okay, so this might scare you. Actually, I feel like 2024 is going, in the best possible way, be flipped upside down, like what you think you’re doing right now is not even close to especially, I would say, about this time next year what you’ll be doing. It is something I would almost say like completely different. But I don’t want you to think you’re not going to be like still in your gifts or in your like creative zone of genius, absolutely hands down. But there is something around March that is going to come to you that you are like holy sh, like it just changes the whole direction of your life in business. I think there might be a permanent move also happening around that same time. So there’s that. I feel like there is also something to do. The universe really wants you to like lean in to either I can’t tell if this is like more music, or there’s something about music, or maybe sound healing. So I feel like there’s something in that for you that can shift something within your body.

Shari Teigman: 41:13

Amazing, I’m in.

Amber Annette: 41:14

So we can, we just I want to talk about, I want you to lean into that, find that a little bit more. The other thing is, I’m really feeling like and this is not something I don’t think I’ve ever saw for anybody, especially in this podcast, before but it you have to trust me when I tell you right now you have to start doing breathwork as soon as we are done with this call today. There is something absolutely like releasing and healing that happens to your body on a physical level when you start doing it. That is going to bring on a version of you that you had no idea was like you. There is like things have been good up to this point. It is going to be like revolutionary, revolutionary, amazing. I’m in, thank you yes. I feel like you might have resistance to doing things for yourself right now, for your own business, since you are highly connected with this UK coaching company and you have a roster full of amazing clients. But you have to write.

Shari Teigman: 42:28

You have to write. I didn’t tell her before, so this is not staged, but book number one is coming out for my 10th anniversary. I haven’t started writing it. It’s been mapped out for four years and so I’m starting. I got a special keyboard and everything that is coming, so it’s about to start being written. Interestingly, I was going to start on Monday, so now I’m really going to start on Monday.

Amber Annette: 42:50

Not only should you start on Monday, but I am going to give you a formal invitation here on the podcast to come and stay with me and finish it. When you were talking about the cabin and the water, no, I have clean water. I don’t have dirty cabin water. But I saw you in my kitchen getting water.

Shari Teigman: 43:10

Well, I love it. It’s been in my kitchen. I feel like I need to turn in your.

Amber Annette: 43:13

I’m dead serious. But if you like, I’m going to show you like, look at these. Like, I mean, like the it is, it is just beautiful here. So come and stay with me and write some of that book.

Shari Teigman: 43:23

Thank you my love. I would love it.

Amber Annette: 43:27

All right, are you ready for the question?

Shari Teigman: 43:29

I’m ready for the question. Kind of looking your face, I’m not sure.

Amber Annette: 43:34

My eyes are closed because I’m totally tapped in. If you could connect to anyone in spirit, whether it be a past loved one, a celebrity, anyone, and receive a message from them, who would it be?

Shari Teigman: 43:51

It’s always my great mother.

Amber Annette: 43:57

They have both crossed over. Is that correct? Yes, okay, so I have both of them here. One talks in like a very, like a very strong accent to me, like that’s the one, yeah, okay, that’s the one, okay, it’s what.

Shari Teigman: 44:16

She’s Polish.

Amber Annette: 44:18

Oh, my God, was she a good cook. Did you do you cook? Did you learn to cook from her? Yeah, okay, so she shows me like your kitchen. She is like never not with you when you are in your kitchen. So first and foremost, she also kind of comes to like her, her, her neck. Can you tell me why she would come to her neck? Is there a neck?

Shari Teigman: 44:45

or something. She was a Holocaust survivor and so I have her ring from. We don’t have a lot of stuff from that time. We lost our whole family. So there was one necklace that she wore and a ring and it’s crazy to say, because my mom gifted me both and I wear the ring whenever I go on stage. It’s like my Wonder Woman cuff. But just recently, on my last UK trip was a few weeks ago I had just this feeling. I’ve never worn the necklace. I just took it out about a month ago and started wearing it and it’s in my bag. I haven’t worn it since but unbelievable, it’s very heavy. So it was just like this presence on my chest and she had a lot of PTSD obviously and anxiety and breathing was hard for her. So she would like hold herself a lot and like try to catch her breath. So your, your hand is sitting where her hand used to go and the necklace was a long necklace so it was like sit right here. So her hand was always on the necklace, like that.

Amber Annette: 45:39

I think it’s also really interesting. I brought up breath work for you.

Shari Teigman: 45:44

Yeah, 100%.

Amber Annette: 45:48

She’s so proud of you, but you, you still have, you still have a lot of miles in front of you. She’s with you every single mile. I feel like she had to walk a lot in her life, yeah, and then after life she could still work with you.

Shari Teigman: 46:14

She was tinier than I am. If she was up to my shoulder, I’m four left for those who don’t know.

Amber Annette: 46:19

Yes, I think you’re the old, I’m five one, and I think you’re the only person in my life, other than my nine year old son, who is like shorter than me.

Shari Teigman: 46:28

For now I feel like Riker’s going to pass us both very quickly Very soon, very soon.

Amber Annette: 46:34

Oh, my goodness, I’m glad you’re crying. It wouldn’t be an episode of the business psychic if I didn’t have my guest crying. So thank you, thank you and thank you for being here. This was absolutely magical. I’m going to share one more thing with my listeners. So this is something new I’ve started adding. I want you to go find your sign, and this was something really unique that I wanted to start giving during the podcast. You know, every week finding a sign from the universe that you’re aligned, you’re moving in the right direction, you’re on the right path. We all want those like moments of evidence, and this week you can’t see it now, but behind Sherry, I have been drawn to this white stuffed heart the whole time, and so my I want you to go find your sign this week, which is a white heart, and when you see it, own it, know it’s for you, know you are aligned, know you are heading in the right direction and the universe is totally supporting you and all of your dreams and in all of your magic. So until then, go see your sign, see you next week. Thanks for listening to this episode. I hope it inspired and ignited your entrepreneurial spirit, in turn of your intuition and trust in the universe. Make sure to check out the show notes section for access to my transformation suite All of free resources, tools and content to help you grow your business while staying true to your soul’s purpose. Until next week, go make some business magic full sister.